0128-10 reasons why Newt Gingrich will never be President of the United States

Reason 1: Everyday is a bad haircut day for Mr. Gingrich. 

Photo: PJMedia.com

No matter how many photos you view or where you see him, Newt Gingrich simply can't sport a presidential haircut. I'm not sure if the blame lies with his handlers or Newt himself . In the photo above it appears he might have just removed a load of  sweaters from the clothes dryer. 

2. Newt Gingrich has always had limited, never a broad appeal

To be able to cite your address as 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW you must no matter what your political affiliation, have a wide appeal. That appeal must also cross into enemy territory, meaning if you are a Republican there are still a significant number of Democrats who in the privacy of a voting booth might punch a paper hole beside your name. Mr. Gingrich will always have a hard time getting even a healthy amount of his own party to punch that hole. It may have as much to do with his implied agenda as with his public one. Take Ronald Reagan for example. His boyish mien and contagious smile crossed party lines all the time. The man came from a background in acting and he had a natural gait of congeniality. Bill Clinton also had a winning smile and his Southern intonation - and again we have the boyish charm - could win over even the defiant of critics.

3. A complete sense of confidence is lacking in Newt Gingrich

Photo: ScrapeTV.com

To be President of the United States a person must most of the time exude a sense of confidence. Unfortunately for some people the competition for the office is so fierce that confidence you are putting out there must be the real thing. In this game you can't front assurance - it must be there as natural as the freckle on your chin or the corn on your big toe. Mr. Gingrich too often lacks the look and feel of a man who can act entirely on his own if necessary.

4. The marriage factor: is the third time the charm?

Having so many other negatives in the race for President is not assisted at all by the fact the Republican candidate has exchanged marriage vows three times. His second marriage was the result of an affair, and in a fierce moment of regretful vanity it is said Mr. Gingrich felt his first wife was not pretty enough to be a First Lady. Gingrich denies making the statement. The real question is, is Newt Gingrich handsome enough to be First Man? Do I need to answer that?

5. Gingrich has to many money-making hats on his hat rack

The United States is a capitalist country and most of us aren't shy about wanting to make money and lots of it, but for someone who aspires to lead the country and in some cases other parts of the world, Newt Gingrich has too many corporations and non-profits raking in millions of dollars. Most people don't know he and his wife own a production company, and guess whose work it features? He also owned Gingrich Communications whose main purpose was to promote Mr. Gingrich at about 60K a pop for speaking engagements and it's said he could spin out about 80K a year.

6. Newt Gingrich has an unshakable mischievous factor

Is it just me or can other people see an undeniable hit of mischievousness hanging over this presidential hopeful? It's uncanny and often unsettling, like an itch behind the ear that pops up once in awhile - you're not sure what's causing it but you have to scratch it to make it go away.

  Photo: Associated Press

7. Newt Gingrich mixes, not separates, church and state

Here we have a basic tenet of the U.S. Constitution - the document most important in the office of President - and a presidential candidate, a member of Congress who refused to abide by federal law. Almost all Americans respect the right of religious freedom, but they also do not appreciate having something so personal and precious scraped across the political landscape often in the name of profit. If Mr. Gingrich had his way there would be mandatory worship services ( of his choosing of course) in the rotunda of the White House. A president should express his religion in a healthy and non-obtrusive manner, thereby showing respect for all religions and not to the exclusion of his own.

8. This person could not be trusted with access to "The Button"

Most adult Americans from time to time think about the button. We all know the button sits next to the red phone - the phone that will never ring unless it's the worst possible news and the phone that only the President of the United States can answer. The button is the device that tells the Joint Chiefs of Staff that it's okay to send a few nuclear missiles flying toward a perceived threat. We can only imagine the conversation between "President Gingrich" and the Joint Chiefs of Staff. We pick up with Newt looking at the red phone as members of his cabinet look on.

Newt: Is that phone ringing?

Cabinet member #1: Yes Mr. President, it appears to be ringing.

Newt: Well . . .is someone going to answer it?

Cabinet member #1: Ahhh, Mr. Pres- ah-dent . . .

Cabinet member #2: Mr. President only you can answer it.

Newt: I'll be hell with that! Who made that rule?

Cabinet member #2: Not sure Mr. President.

Newt: I guess I will answer it. "Hello?"

Joint Chiefs of Staff: "Mr. President?"

Newt: "Yes?"

Joint Chiefs of Staff: "President Newt Gingrich?"

Newt. What is it?"

Joint Chiefs of Staff: "Sir, I need you to tell me the code."

Newt: "The code? What damn code? Dispense with the crap. Who's looking up our skirt?"

Joint Chiefs of Staff: "It's Iran again. They are pointing their nuclear power projectiles at us."

Newt: "Where's that damn button? We'll show them."

Well, you get the picture, and so do millions of other Americans which is why Mr. Gingrich will never have to worry about any special code, red phones ringing or pushing the proverbial button.

9. When God made Newt Gingrich he accidentally forgot to add compassion

No matter what political party or how people from the opposite party view you, it's impossible to be president without having at least an iota of compassion for people less fortunate. Gingrich seems to cast off his shoulder an air of superiority, of class when it comes to economic standing and many people get the feeling he equates being poor with ability and attitude instead of misfortune and circumstance. His flippant statement about Occupy protesters needing to take a bath before they go look for a job didn't go over well with constituents on all sides of the political spectrum.

10. Newt Gingrich's concern for the health and well-being of his country does not come across as genuine and heart-felt 

No matter what your political affiliation, the American public look deeply into a candidate for the office of President and ask themselves almost intuitively, does this person really care about the country as a whole and everyone regardless of their political and economic status? While it seems Mr. Gingrich loves his country and cares about select groups of Americans, he does not exude the feeling of a deep concern for the country as a whole.

Well, now you have a better idea why Mr. Gingrich will never say these words, ever: I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States.

We expect he will soon have a self-realization on this matter and throw his support behind Mitt Romney. Call it pre-breaking news or a premonition - either way it's just another fact of political life.